I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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