oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
