some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
