I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
