So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
