I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Randomize
