Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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