question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
