i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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