Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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