Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
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