i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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