Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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