did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Randomize
