My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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