is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Randomize