it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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