have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
