ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
