Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
