how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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