hell yes lets make some ravioli
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Randomize
