I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
