I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
third nipple confirmed
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
