Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize