I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Randomize
