You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
