So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Randomize
