i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
