forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Randomize
