Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I love having hate sex.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
