I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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