He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
Randomize
