I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
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