How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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