check it out our google latitudes are spooning
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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