theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
