...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize