So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize