When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Randomize