I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
