Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
So much rum. So many feels.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
