who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
