Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
