margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
