i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
