Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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