THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
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