what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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