I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Randomize
