well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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