I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize