I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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