When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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