well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
