Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
