You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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