so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
that may or may not have been my penis.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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