My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
