Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
