Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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