So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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