So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
where are you?
Hypothermia
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
