What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
