So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
