she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
